Before I jump into the review of 2010: MOBY DICK, I have to admit something about the film up front: when Hayes handed me the case, the cover art instantly made me angry. Why, you ask? Well, because it's a direct rip-off of Jaws. That was the initial reason for my anger, anyway. But then, after I watched the movie, I was angry for a different reason. I'll explain that later on.
For those of you not familiar with this dramatization that is based on Melville's classic novel, here is a synopsis from The Asylum's website:
"A modern adaptation of the classic novel of the captain of a high tech submarine and his obsessive quest to destroy the enormous prehistoric whale that maimed him."
I will be honest: I did not like this movie. It literally almost put me to sleep. I WANTED to like it very much...I mean, I’m a huge creature-feature fan, after all. But there are so many problems with it that they kept distracting me to the point of boredom.
For example, look at the cover of the DVD...the whale is big, right? Well, in the movie, it keeps changing size! One minute it's a massive behemoth that's big enough to make a normal whale look like a goldfish (it literally bites a whale in half)...and the next, it’s not much bigger than the submarine that’s chasing it! This flaw alone made me roll my eyes constantly. It’s also the secondary reason for my anger about the cover.
And aside from the horrendous CG effects, the details in this movie are extremely overlooked. The interior of the submarine is enormous, with large, open rooms and non-cramped quarters. Are you kidding me? Have you ever been in or around a sub? Check one out sometime…they are very cramped, with barely any space at all. Just about every square inch of space is utilized in some form or fashion.
Add this to the fact that many of the Navy personnel look like they are wearing Army uniforms. WTF? Really? I have to wonder if the production team did any research at all before shooting this film.
So many non-plausible things happen in 2010: MOBY DICK, too. I normally don’t have a problem with reality detachment, which is how I’m able to enjoy so many different types of movies. But damn…there was no way I could immerse myself in this movie. I mean, a one-legged submarine captain? And he’s able to get away with not communicating with Naval Command for several weeks? C’mon…the military would have been all over him within just a couple of days of missing a communication check-in. And then, when the Navy finds him, they shoot at the sub? What??? No way, especially not a nuclear sub. But even if they were going to shoot, they sure wouldn’t use bullets…try maybe a torpedo.
I can’t even say the acting is good, either. I mean, choosing Barry Bostwick as the lead? Granted, he could make a decent Ahab in an actual adaptation of Melville’s book, but he couldn't pull off a military persona at all to save his life (he was Brad Majors in the Rocky Horror Picture Show, for Pete’s sake!). And Renee O’Connor as a doctor? Yeah, right. That’s about as believable as Tara Reid playing one. O’Connor is forever stereotyped in my mind as Xena’s side-kick.
Even though I love The Asylum and most of their films, I have to say that this one is an epic fail. It’s not even one of those that are so bad, it’s good…it’s just plain terrible. I can honestly say that I lost 90 minutes of life to it and would really like that time back.