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Saturday, October 16, 2010

DVD Review: SECRETS OF SEX aka. BIZARRE (1970)

Previously released under the title BIZARRE, this latest DVD release from CAV Distributing is being released under its other title, SECRETS OF SEX. This version includes deleted footage never before seen in the U.S. Here is the basic plot from the CAV website:

Journey into the mind of the undead as a talking mummy guides us on a grand tour of the timeless "battle of the sexes" between man and woman. An erotic horror cult classic from executive producer Richard Gordon ("FIEND WITHOUT A FACE", "ISLAND OF TERROR"), "SECRETS OF SEX" is an offbeat anthology film like no other. A sexy mix of sex, horror and humor filmed in varied styles, this is one of the strangest films you are ever likely to see.

I wish they would have just stuck to the original title of BIZARRE, because you can't really describe this film better than that. Let me point out right up front that this is NOT a Horror movie. With a tag line such as "Sure to make you squirm in fear, and smile with pleasure" and being described as an erotic Horror classic, I was expecting much more Horror with this film, and it just wasn't there. It is even hosted by a talking Mummy, so its got to be a Horror film, right? Wrong. Another tag line of the film says "The film they tried to stop!". I am not sure who "they" are, but I really wish they would have succeeded. Oh well. So don't go into it thinking you are in for a scary good time...or really a good time at all.

The film is made up of several short stories and vignettes. It actually started off pretty good with a story of a wealthy prince who comes home to be told by his trusted servant that he thinks the man's wife was in their room with another man. The servant tells the prince that he thinks the man is hiding in the large trunk at the foot of the prince's bed. The prince confronts his wife who finally gives up the key to the trunk. The prince ponders opening the truck, but then orders his servant's to take the trunk and throw it off the cliff.....not ever knowing for sure if a man was in the trunk or not.

Well, while that was somewhat interesting, it was downhill from there. The later shorts are made up of stories such as a female James Bond type spy who uses her sex appeal to gain access to a wealthy man's safe, and a story about a socially inept nerd who hires an escort to come over in hopes of having a menage-a-trois with his pet lizard! Also there is a scene of half naked go go dancing women getting lettuce and tomatoes thrown at them. Yep, I just typed that.

I know the 70's was a different time, and maybe one I just don't get since I wasn't born until the later 70's, but this film made no sense to me and just made me wonder what these filmmakers were thinking (or taking) at time of making this film. If you are into weird cinema, this is a film you will want to check out. If you are a true Horror fan like myself, you will want to steer clear of this one. This was one secret I would rather of just not known about.

CLICK HERE to watch the trailer
CLICK HERE to purchase the DVD

2 comments:

  1. Yeah, I've seen this movie already. You're pretty much on the money there.

    I did find it a bit funny that the guy had a giant safe that could apparently hold a few dozen women in it. How big is that thing exactly and how did you get clearance for that on your property?!?

    I don't get the mummy's point in this movie either. He spent the whole time locked up in a chest, so how does he know any of this stuff? It's like having me narrate a film about the 1920's as if I lived there!

    Like you, I can't recommend this as much more than a curiosity piece. Just to note: I watched it on Instant Viewing on literally the last day it was available (at the time, mind you). It's a shame I didn't just wait another day.

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  2. Thanks for the comments Tim! I am glad I was not the only that didn't "get" it! Has anyone else out there seen this film? I would love to hear some more opinions on this very Bizarre film....

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